That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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