dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
