he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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