Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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