Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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