you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize