The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
