What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
