I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
