Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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