is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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