So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
