i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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