Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Randomize
