It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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