I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
