after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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