can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Blow job season was short but glorious.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
