Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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