Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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