I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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