So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
