You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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