I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
