even my farts smell like vagina
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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