What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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