Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize