too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
