found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
