two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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