Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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