im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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