she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize