Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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