During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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