I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
How drunk are you?
Completed.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
