and she was petting her beer can
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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