I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
