so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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