the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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