i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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