He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
