it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
