So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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