glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You need Xanax blowdarts
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
