Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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