Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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