Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
