so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
