she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
pray to the hookup gods
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
