I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My feet surprised me
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