he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
