Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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