Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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