I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
