We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
