Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
