Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
