Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
