you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
