I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
