I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
