So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
