Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
