Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
